My best friend and I have a buddy who speaks to us now and then when he's not playing with his Fortnite buddies, but otherwise he doesn't even come voluntarily (e.g. On the Discord Channel). If he comes voluntarily, he is really nice and all, but we're unsure and have been discussing it for a few weeks (of course without him knowing). I mean, what kind of friendship is it when you always run after the person concerned, is ignored on whatsapp and he never wants to meet outside and tries to talk out. But he himself always says that he likes us and so on and that we're friends.
We personally can't just "let go" of a buddy like that and of course we would like to continue to be friends with him. Especially since we can't hurt people or be so direct and speak to them directly.
We need your help // tips… It's really important!
Just talk to him about whether you are embarrassing… No messing around, creating a clear edge and facts…
Yes, the only problem is that when he's there it's usually funny and we don't worry about it anymore, only when he's "gone" again do we notice that he has only "used" us again
As I said, I would confront him… You are not second choice…: /
Okay, thanks for your tip, we'll try it next time we talk!
^^
I've seen something similar and I have to say that it is highly likely that you and your boyfriend are something of a 'substitute' for your boyfriend. It sounds really stupid and it's also something you don't want to experience, especially not from a good friend. If it is as you have described it here, then I would really advise you and your friend to keep your distance from your buddies. I did the same and so my girlfriend and me broke up. She hasn't spoken to or written to me since then. Sometimes it's best to get people out of your life so that the right ones get a place. If you find that your buddy is making less contact and not responding to messages, then it's not worth your time. But in the end you still have you and your best friend and that's what matters.
Thank you for your encouraging words. We absolutely agree with you and we also try, well let's say "forget". Unfortunately, it's not as easy as it sounds. My best friend is also in love with our buddy and that makes things a lot harder. We're slowly getting stuck and that's exactly why my best friend can't just forget him if you understand what I mean… It's all very complicated and he wants to have opinions from others again to make the final decision and I follow him one way or the other for that matter.
We would be happy to receive a tip in this situation too…
Oh dear!
Of course, that can make things a lot more exhausting. It is important to think about it. Your best friend may be in love with your buddy, but think twice. If your buddy does not get in touch and only comes back to you when he has no one or no time for him, then you will always be disappointed and believe me, you really don't feel great.
During this time it is important to be there for each other. Losing a friend is difficult, especially if you got along well and didn't really have any problems with each other. But such little things will catch your eye after a while and will open your eyes.
Try to distance yourself from your buddy. Maybe your buddy will come back and ask why you did this. If that is the case, I would advise you to have a three-person interview to sort it out. Also tell how you felt let down, what emotions you felt in those particular moments so that your buddy can understand it naturally.
If it is the case that your buddy does not answer / contact you after both of you distanced yourself from your buddy, then you can tell that it has never been a problem for the buddy. This is of course something you don't want to hear, but in the end it just says a lot more about your buddy.
Okay, we thank you for this tip and we will try this one. We very much hope that a conversation can develop from this and that he will give us (especially him) his attention if we don't give him any. Still, it's a shame that you have to resort to such means just to see if you are important enough to the person…
As I said: Thank you again from both of us!
No problem! I'm just trying to help where I can.
